smiling while drowned in alcohol. Such a relief, my drunk image moved into a fresh shining face. I saw a message in my notebook from someone I least expect to ask how am I doing? That someone telling me to take care of myself while living in this far away place. Or that someone whom, in my hopes, still wants me to know he still cares after everything that had happened.
With just a short message, made my night feels like already a wonderful morning. But being away, led myself not expecting from that someone anymore though I know how good it feels but I have to wake up from the fantasy. I cannot sleep that night because his images appear each time I close my eyes. I silently pray, asking God to just bless this person. God knows how this person means so much to me. I admit and feel sorry that sometimes I don't trust God's future plans for the both of us. Hard to explain but I am afraid that if I let myself positive all the time, I might get disappointed.
After I made my long reply from that someone's message, I did not let it all leave to a desperate expectation. I put in mind that it's okay if he didn't continue answering to my reply, what matter is I'm glad he keeps me posted and he is interested about what's up with me right now. Again, God is playing such sweet games, here comes another reply from him. The same smile from my face appeared and I cannot hide it with denial. I did not question his explanations on why he didn't reply immediately (because of a busy schedule). I just felt good again and I cannot do anything to stop it or deprive the bliss I am having.
My journal. My 9th journal is HIM. I have a notebook to write him a letter about my life away from him, a life being single and a life away from my homeland. He doesn't have any idea about it, that's why I don't need to wait for a reply. Someday when the right time comes, he is the first person to read about my adventures. I smiled after writing the last line because I remember him telling me that he would love to hear my stories soon. And that last talk, was the day we decided to separate ways.
No comments:
Post a Comment